“Age gracefully” often sounds like a polite way of saying “shrink yourself quietly.” In this essay, Funlayo unpacks why she refuses that script and chooses instead to age loudly, beautifully, and authentically—wrinkles, wisdom, laughter lines and all.
When people talk about aging gracefully, I wonder what they really mean. For me the term conjures images of a grown woman trying to hold on to her youth.
According to Naomi Wolf, author of the Beauty Myth,
current beauty standards are based around the pillars of youth – baby smooth skin, long lashes, narrow hips, slenderness – features only natural in prepubescent girls. Women are essentially encouraged to aspire to look like children, an appearance closely connected with helplessness, obedience, and malleability.
Why in the world would any grown woman aspire to these limiting standards? One of the greatest gifts of aging is confidence. Getting through the insecurities of my teenage years, the doubts and fears of my 20's and 30’s and finally becoming comfortable in my skin in my 40’s and 50’s.
At 60 years old, I am a bona fide grown woman, an aunty and mentor to the next generation of women. Age and experience have given me the perspective and wisdom to coach and encourage younger women to be bolder than I was at their age.
